The messy middle
There’s a version of leadership no one prepares you for—the kind where everything is changing fast, and you’re expected to stay calm, clear, and in control.
Sometimes, things are growing quickly—new hires, new pressures, new goals that keep moving. Other times, something hits unexpectedly, and the future becomes uncertain overnight. Either way, you’re in the messy middle. You’re holding it together for everyone else while trying to process it all yourself.
And the pressure is quiet but constant. Be decisive and reassuring. Be the one with answers. But what if you don’t have all the answers? What if you’re the one who needs a moment to breathe?
This is the part of leadership no one glamorizes. And yet, it’s where real leadership is defined, not by big moves, but by staying grounded when things are in motion.
This post is for those moments—when you’re leading through growth or leading through uncertainty, and you need to find steady ground both for yourself and the people counting on you.
Why grounded leadership works (even when nothing else is going right)
When things get chaotic—whether it’s a market crash, a product launch gone sideways, or a team growing faster than systems can handle—it’s easy to default to speed, control, and reactivity. That’s what urgency does: it compresses your thinking, narrows your focus, and pushes you to do something right now.
But the problem is, reactivity often feels like progress, even when it’s just motion.
Grounded leadership is what breaks that cycle. It’s what allows you to respond instead of react. It lets you think clearly, communicate calmly, and lead in a way that holds the team together, even when everything else is in motion.
Let’s take a closer look at what that actually looks like in practice.
What grounded leadership actually looks like day to day
Grounded leadership is not about meditating in the middle of a fire drill or being unnaturally calm 24/7. It’s about building habits and patterns of behavior that keep you clear, focused, and emotionally steady while you’re making hard decisions and carrying others with you.
Here’s what it looks like in the real world.
1. You pause before you push
There’s a difference between urgency and panic. Grounded leaders still move fast, but they build in micro-pauses before key decisions. That might mean:
- Taking 10 minutes alone before a high-stakes meeting
- Writing out 3 options and worst-case risks before committing
- Asking one trusted voice, “What might I be missing here?”
These tiny checks often prevent big missteps.
2. You name what others won’t say out loud
Tension on the team? Uncertainty about direction? Instead of avoiding discomfort, grounded leaders speak into it with clarity and empathy.
“I know there’s frustration around how quickly things are shifting. You’re not alone in feeling that.”
That simple act of naming tension calms the room. It builds trust fast.
3. You create clarity even when you can’t offer certainty
You can’t promise the product will launch on time or that the business will hit next quarter’s numbers. But you can lay out what’s true, what’s being worked on, and what comes next.
- “Here’s what we know today…”
- “These are the three priorities right now…”
- “This will probably change, but I’ll keep you posted.”
It’s not about spin but about giving people something to hold onto.
4. You check in, not just check progress
Grounded leadership means staying connected to the people behind the tasks. Even during hypergrowth or crisis, you take a moment to ask:
- “How are you holding up?”
- “What’s been hardest this week?”
- “Anything unclear I can help with?”
These aren’t soft questions. They’re how trust stays intact when things get hard.
5. You take care of your own energy, not just your team’s
This might be the most overlooked part. You can’t lead well if you’re mentally fried, emotionally flatlined, or physically drained. Grounded leaders don’t treat self-care as a reward. They treat it as fuel.
- They block thinking time.
- They protect boundaries.
- They ask for help when needed.
They know: if I fall apart, everything wobbles.
Grounded leadership isn’t one big breakthrough moment. It’s a set of small, repeatable choices that keep you steady when things speed up, blow up, or change completely.
Let’s take a look at a few real-world leaders who’ve done exactly that.
Real leaders, real moments: what it looks like under pressure
It’s one thing to talk about grounded leadership in theory. It’s another to watch it unfold in real life. When the stakes are high, things are messy, and there’s no script to follow.
Here are a few moments where leaders showed up with clarity, steadiness, and human-centered thinking right when it mattered most.
Brian Chesky, Airbnb — Leading with humanity in crisis
When the pandemic affected Airbnb’s business, Chesky had to lay off 25% of his workforce. He didn’t hide behind PR or vague statements. He wrote a transparent, compassionate letter explaining how decisions were made, what the company would do to support those affected, and what values were driving every step.
The result? Hurt, yes but also deep respect. Many employees publicly thanked him. Others who were let go became ambassadors for the brand.
Satya Nadella, Microsoft — A cultural reset during transformation
Nadella stepped in as CEO during a time of stagnation. Instead of doubling down on control or product, he led with empathy and a growth mindset. His focus wasn’t just business, it was people. His famous line: “Don’t be a know-it-all, be a learn-it-all,” reshaped how Microsoft operated.
Over the next several years, Microsoft’s culture shifted and its market cap grew more than 7x.
Canva — Scaling fast without losing their soul
As Canva experienced explosive user growth, they resisted the temptation to chase every opportunity. Instead, they focused on simplicity, team alignment, and making sure their mission stayed front and center—even while hiring at speed.
The company maintained low churn, strong morale, and a product users still say “just makes sense.”
Jacinda Ardern, New Zealand — Calm in the chaos
During the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, Ardern didn’t pretend to have all the answers. But she communicated with honesty, consistency, and empathy. She repeated key messages, acknowledged public fear, and kept showing up with calm presence.
Her approval ratings surged, not because everything went perfectly, but because she was trusted.
These leaders didn’t perform under pressure. They stayed grounded. And that’s what people remembered.
Crisis vs. growth: how to lead when the challenges couldn’t be more different
Grounded leadership stays the same at its core, but how you apply it needs to flex depending on the situation.
In a crisis, the danger is paralysis, fear, or misalignment. In hypergrowth, the danger is burnout, chaos, or losing sight of what actually matters.
Here’s how grounded leadership plays out differently depending on the pressure you’re under:
| If you’re leading through a crisis… | If you’re leading during hypergrowth… |
| Simplify everything. Cut down to the essential. Don’t try to fix it all—just move the most critical pieces. | Slow down what doesn’t scale. Just because things are going fast doesn’t mean they’re going well. Protect the long game. |
| Be visible and calm. Your presence matters more than perfect answers. People want to see you showing up. | Delegate with context. You can’t be everywhere, so give your teams direction and decision space. |
| Name the tension. If people are scared, don’t pretend they’re not. Say what’s hard—then lead them through it. | Protect the culture. Fast growth is where culture breaks down. Reinforce values constantly as new people join. |
| Make fewer decisions, better. Limit the number of big moves. Clarity is more valuable than speed right now. | Avoid chaos disguised as progress. High output doesn’t mean you’re building something sustainable. Be intentional. |
| Check in more than usual. Even if you’re short on answers, don’t go quiet. Small updates keep teams connected. | Celebrate small wins. When everything’s in motion, people need to know what’s working. Don’t wait for the big milestone. |
This isn’t about changing who you are as a leader, but flexing your approach to meet the moment.
In crisis, your steadiness keeps people grounded. In growth, your steadiness keeps people from burning out.
Either way, the goal is the same: to lead from a place of clarity, not chaos.
What grounded leaders do for themselves
You can’t lead well if you’re running on fumes.
And yet, that’s exactly what most leaders try to do during high-stress seasons, whether it’s crisis mode or rapid growth. You push harder, respond faster, and take on more. Until eventually, clarity fades, decisions get sloppy, and your confidence quietly erodes.
Here’s how grounded leaders protect that edge when pressure’s high:
1. They create space to think—even when there’s “no time”
It’s counterintuitive, but stepping back helps you move forward.
Leaders who build in short blocks of white space—15 minutes to journal, a walk without a phone, even a deep breath before a decision—make better, faster calls.
2. They track their energy, not just their time
Calendars show how busy you are. But they don’t show what’s draining you or what fills your tank. Grounded leaders notice which meetings leave them foggy, which projects light them up, and how their own energy shapes team morale.
Ask yourself weekly:
- What drained me this week?
- What gave me momentum?
- What do I need to shift next week?
3. They build support systems, not just teams
Being “the leader” can be lonely. You can’t always share everything with your team or peers. But you do need a few safe people—mentors, coaches, other founders—who get it. People who can ask the hard questions, challenge your assumptions, or just remind you you’re not crazy.
4. They protect their emotional regulation like it’s mission-critical
Because it is.
When you’re constantly reacting from stress, your judgment suffers. So does your presence. Grounded leaders know when they’re off center—and they have tools to reset. Breathing. A step away. Writing instead of talking. Saying, “I need a beat before I answer that.”
That one pause? It can save a week’s worth of damage.
5. They’re not afraid to ask for help
Needing support isn’t weakness—it’s leadership. The strongest leaders aren’t the ones who carry it all. They’re the ones who know when to offload, delegate, or just say, “I need help figuring this out.”
Whether it’s a coach, a therapist, or a trusted operator, grounded leaders invest in themselves because they’re invested in everyone else.
Grounded leadership doesn’t mean you’re always calm. It means you know how to return to calm.
It’s a skill. A habit. A choice you make over and over again—not for perfection, but for longevity.
Final thoughts: how do you want to lead when it counts?
In fast, high-pressure seasons, your leadership is defined by how you show up, not just what you achieve.
You don’t need all the answers. But you do need presence. Clarity. A steady hand when others are looking for one.
Because long after the chaos settles, people will remember how you led through it.
If you’re navigating hypergrowth, a crisis, or a tough inflection point, you don’t have to carry it alone. At Column, we support founders and operators who want to stay grounded while leading through change. Reach out.
